Childhood Crush

the boy, the city, the spiciness of the experience…

I was 10-12 I think…
Every summer I went to visit my grandmother and great-aunt away from the rainy, muggy kiremt into the sunny humidity of the East. My great-aunt was the precious kind of woman who exuded love to all the kids of the area and gathered them into her home, showering them with the little cares of a grandmother. She would cajole, scold, hug, kiss and nurture as if they were her own. She was many things at all times, the versatile abode that is Woman. Personified, she was the vesicle for culture, the treasure chest of folktales; a linguist, like many in her generation. She spoke Haderi, Arabic, Amharic, Oromiffa, Somali…saying exactly what was on her mind as the need presented itself!

Almost every night, us kids would gather outside by the grayish blue gates around my great aunt’s feet as the sand settles and the heavy nefasha air breezes past the leaves; the teeming starry sky twinkling above us. I was a big fan of these nights, nights of teret teret storytelling about ali babba, the always mischievous monkey and the smart girl, the selfish one…the stepmother (Hmm…maybe this is why I’m such a sucker for breezy warm days that caress as they prode out a contented smile; like a lazy Saturday afternoon by the Potomac waterfront…)

Anyhow, back to another time and place.

Every summer I would reel from excitement as i make my way to Dire to start a month long excursion filled with dankira with the kids and happy days with my adorably talkative aunties. freedom! These summer friends of mine had their own slang; the juiciest kind that combines all the languages of the area. “Kale Waria!!” “Abooooo tewaaa!” “Abshir new, Alhamdililah!” “Intalo, injiru bishaniti?” Qesht, Abo, Senduq, birka, shillingi, roqa, medebir, mamilla, CHebo…and thus I rack my memory: to find all these and more profane wordy varieties…

It was then that I became crush-struck. My younger cousin’s best friend was about 1 year older than I. The star footballer and the little arada of the area with his hitched walk and croaky voice; sure to be crowned mr. congeniality; deserving by far. It seems I was drawn to personality more than looks, even then…He had sharp accented features (big eyes, big nose, brownish soft hair) and he was light-skinned. Tall and skinny be he.

The old ladies were his fans, the other kids admirers of his mischief. Him and Cuz would tell me stories of classroom antics, football rivalries, adventures running errands around Dire and those vicious kids at the khat terra with whom they waged reckless battles. I’m not sure if I wanted to be them in their recklessness and my rebellious tomboy aspirations or hang with them for some girly reasons I couldn’t fathom! Nonetheless, such were the vagaries which plagued the mind of a little girl coming-of-age.

Jeezz, I was so ashamed of my heart doing a violent and loud ruckus! My tongue-tied little mouth releasing hitched breaths …jitters as he played football outside, came to buy Rossmans…crush-struck! lol, It was petrifying for the little girl that I was. It didn’t even occur to me that I could like him. I badly needed to keep my casual ease – sliding smoothly into funny stories, rants and raves about childhood naughtiness …and juicy neighborhood gossip, for good Dire measure…But No! his voice started breaking as I started breaking into sweat! what silliness!

Sure enough I never told him how I felt- maybe because I didn’t know what it was despite the plethora of teenage books and movies I devoured! At age 11, I expected he would laugh in my face. And as we grew older he would come visit and I would grasp at composure, fumbling… Mainly, I would hear about him from other people…he repeated a class, he was thinking of joining the national football team, he joined the team at the ‘C’ level, then went to vocational school for carpentry …finally he’s joined the federal police… and such a path destiny took…

My little memory vesicle still holds this swanky character with fondness…A fondness that encompasses a town full of people in flip-flops and short-sleeved shirts; long skirts and flirty scarves. Neighbors that come out in the fading warmth- in the cool, calming dusk under acacia trees…as they sit on steps across narrow roads and yell out conversations about so-an-so’s illegitimate child and the price of water… ah! the freedom and openness! Dirty laundry always adorns the dingy streets; if u care to stand for a quick second and listen!

This is a town with equal opportunity hoya hoye where girls ran around with boys, chanting and singing for coins; where people (read: bachelors) buy ‘muslim’ meat pasta with marinara sauce in thin plastic bags with handles. The pasta spot sells chick-pea porridge ‘fuul‘ at breakfast (a middle eastern meal? As staple as dunked bread in sweet spicy tea, as far as I could remember)

Here, the mid-afternoon starts with a calm when everyone clamors indoors to chew on khat and rewind after the noon nap… Mid-morning is marked with knocks by entrepreneurial contraband salesmen, beggars and milkmaids calling for attention. And what of the open blue-grey gates? These gates are always ajar. Open to sounds of children kicking around balls; little girls mixing sand to build play-houses…and passersby exchanging greetings along with drips of the social update for the day.

This small city ruckus is topped up with the sound of the mamilla-CHebo coming around asking auntie for lunch or work carrying stuff in between his cigarette swigs. Infamously, this year’s mamilla was an amazingly intelligent english teacher until the blinding sun-khat –and sand turned him looney!

On History, Theatre & other bollocks

I watched the play ‘the history boys‘ recently. This is what I kept thinking:

“theatre, history…tarik, teret…art, historic records.. history, literature…facts, stories”

hmmm….you hear the sound of the beats, the clashes? contradictions? cymbals? or trombones sounding in the history books?:)

Ah Well…Let me go off on a tangent!

Indeed there are…clashes between the vagaries within theater houses in addis ababa & the district of columbia! Though, one Thursday night these two geographic dimensions merged in my head as history echoed in the dupont theater halls resounding truth about Ethiopia. The remnant echoes: “history is always according to somebody’s perspective.”

…but wouldn’t that mean: history is based on some perspective and context, making fact arguable according to other perspectives and contexts …and History, Bollocks? 🙂 (according to Posner in the play: History could be explained AWAY!)


Interruption from main bollocks (skip if uninterested): My renditions of Theatric settings: Dupont and Piassa

Act 1 setting: In the somewhat uppidy and trendy neighborhood of dupont, home of the most expensive real estate in dc (aka white, gay males) there is a theater house with (raunchy?) zigzag red neon lights and montages of b&w portraits of white actors surrounded by beige wooden walls and frosted doors.

That is where i spent two hours on a Thursday evening with Abesha friends and droves of mostly white, seemingly liberal, artsy-fartsy types of various ages. At the end of the evening we left heads swimming with British boyish silliness, homosexual romance in a boys’ school, theorizing about history, poetry…and other such ‘bollocks’ spoken in rapid cockney english by “The History Boys” as we Abeshoch pleaded for subtitles.

Act 2 setting: An ocean away, the theatre houses of ‘Hager FiQir’ and ‘BehErawi Tiaytir’ serve their largely male crowds (most presumably homophobic) with long queues and ‘unofficial’ ticket sales (aka blackmarkettery, haggling, hustling…). Insistent vendors rummage up and down hallways of fading colors and outdated designs, hallways full of loud chatter. The vendors’ chest-kiosks stuffed with chewing gum and candy get push up under noses of oblivious passers-by; and colorful plastic bags swish by holding candle-sealed packs of oily home fried chips.


No matter. Moving onward: the two clashing worlds of theatre; the trendy posh of dupont and the liveliness of a middle-lower class past-time in piassa cannot escape a conclusion that historic truth is in the eye of the beholder. If ‘The History Boys’ was shown, even in Amharic, to a piassa audience the response could be acutly different, as would the response be of someone watching the same play next to me in dupont. It is a matter of perspective.

So, to say that one perspective of history is right, we would have to assert that some perspectives are ‘better than others’, more objective or rational and scientific according to a specific context. Rendering history according to other perspectives, bollocks….!

ok enough yadi-yada-ing from me…I’m simply highlighting the thin ‘arguable’ line between perspective and truth… Ethiopian tales and Ethiopian tarik, history and stories…

This is my take: Accounts of history should not be the main caveats for arguments about entitlement, political order, war… History should surely be within the discussion, but not take over as a basis for endless bickering, violence, the loss of many lives and livelihoods, especially given history’s fluidity!

I believe in a starting premise of a common goal – COEXISTENCE and common ground through individual understanding. For that, we need to start paying much closer attention to the personal stories that tie many across conflict lines in common humanity and stop the bickering about bollocks historic anecdotes!

Quotes from the play:

“history is based on perspective, so there are countless histories of one occurance…

1~But to put something in context is a step towards saying it can be understood and that it can be explained. And if it can be explained that it can be explained away.

Defining history: nonsense and men (oh my, these two words fit together so nicely! :P)

~How do I define history? Well it’s just one fucking thing after another.

~History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket. Can you, for a moment, imagine how depressing it is to teach five centuries of masculine ineptitude?

The connection through written accounts…

~The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things – that you’d thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you’ve never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it’s as if a hand has come out, and taken yours.”